Ugh. I just wish that I wasn't always so damn self conscious.  It just really sucks you know.  Always worrying about being famous.  Always worrying about what other people think of you.  Always worrying about whether or not I think I'm perfect.  And it seems as though.  As soon as I get over one hump.  I find another thing about myself that I don't like. And it's just terrible.  I just don't know.  And it's ridiculous right.  I should be happy right?  Everyone says I'm beautiful. I'm perfect.  They'd kill to look like me.  But I'm sorry I JUST FEEL UGLY! I feel FAT! I feel disgusting.  I always feel like such a big ugly cow in the room.  And it's completely hard NOT TO.  I can't go from being told I'm ugly and useless by my peers my whole life (well from age 5 to 18) to all of a sudden I'm gorgeous and I'm this beautiful model.  I'm sorry.  But it's just so hard to ACCEPT that! Does anyone know how I feel? Please tell me someone understands?  It's like I feel like I'm this insecure girl still living inside this supposedly confident and beautiful woman.  And I can't help it.  I can't help it. I NEED help. I'm crying out for help.  I just don't know what to do with myself.  I'm so weak. Why am I so weak? Not to mention okay people may think I'm beautiful.  But I do a shot like this http://s19.photobucket.com/albums/b178/royalty77/?action=view&current=LJ.png  and I'm worried about looking like a slut. Ugh.

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